Masterkey Experience Week 18

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Gratitude and Kindness Continue

This week my son and his new wife were coming to town for a visit for my son’s “birthday week.” Normally I would be excited, but instead I was a bit out of sorts until I figured out why.

He wasn’t going to be staying with me. He and his wife would spend the first night at my daughter’s and the next two nights and his dad’s . If I were to dwell on it I would have hit that place of sadness about the fact that I don’t have room for guests to comfortably stay with me. Not only was he not going to stay with me, but the first day they were all going hiking along with some friends, followed with a birthday party at his dads.

Although I was invited for the easy hike, I had only had an angiogram a few days prior and was not up to the hike. I did , however, make vegetarian food to bring to the party for his wife , my daughter and myself. I couldn’t stay long. I wasn’t feeling well enough, so not long after supper I departed before some of the guests arrived. I could see that he was slightly disappointed, but instead of feeling sad or disappointed myself, I felt a sense of relief that he had a place to have his guests, his party, and I could bow out graciously and go home to sleep.

I was also glad that he has formed a relationship with his dad as an adult, as his dad had been quite the absent parent during marriage and after. Not once since my son turned 10, did he ever come for a visit. He didn’t come to his Bar Mitzvah, nor graduation from college, but he was at his recent wedding after 21 years of absenteeism.

I felt happy that instead of being jealous or disappointed that I could be glad for all of them and their time together. I truly have developed a greater sense of gratitude for things and for other’s happiness and well being.

The next evening we were supposed to go out together with his friends and my daughter to shoot pool and sing karaoke. My energy faded dismally before it was time to go. I actually felt grateful that there was enough going on for his weekend that I wasn’t needed to fill any of the voids.I was happy that I could get rest without feeling guilty.

The next morning, before they caught their flight, they called early and asked if we could do brunch at my house. I was delighted. Feeling rested up, I ran to the market for a few items, some flowers for the table and came home in time to set up a very nice table with a healthy and simple meal of polenta bowls and home made vegetable juice. I created a center piece of live blooming plants in a heart shaped basket and tiny individual bud vases at each table setting. The heart shaped “special plate” from when the kids were young was set out at my son’s spot with a small candle on a plate clip and I had everything ready except for the fresh brewed coffee,that he brought along from his honeymoon in Columbia,before they arrived.

When they walked in, I could see the joy on their faces as they saw the welcoming table.

We had just a short time to spend together at the table during the meal before my daughter whisked them off to the airport, and I kept the focus and conversation on him and his special week , his wife and my daughter. I could tell that he was grateful for the few minutes we had to spend together during the meal. It wasn’t long, but it was perfect and filled with gratitude for each other. Everyone enjoyed the meal, each other’s company, the conversation, and even though it went by just as fast as I had prepared it, when they left, I happily washed each plate with a sense of love for each person that each dirty dish represented. I was mindful of each person as I scrubbed the bowls, plates, coffee cups, and it never felt like a chore at all. It was truly a service and I did the happy dance in my head and heart. How much it means to be able to continue gratitude from the makeover as it spills into the rest of my life making imperfect things turn out perfectly!