Before you read, note: I’m not trying in any way to get ethereal here, or mystical or anything else, but I had a strange experience that really seemed like it was my subby speaking through a dream to me. Well, after all, I did ask the question after the week 3 Webinar. I never thought, gee….should I do this? After all, I’m on a fixed disability income (that I’m trying to get off of). It doesn’t always get me through to the end of the month, and I owe medical bills, etc; Every emergency seems to put me further behind. If I have a financial need I have to sometimes sacrifice a few meals here and there. I never thought about not having enough money to pay it forward. On the contrary! As soon as I knew this could be a Pay It Forward, I looked through my budget and planned my first allotment to set aside before I even saw the first webinar of week 1. Instead of thinking, “where’s this going to come from?” my question to the Universe was , help me figure out how I am going to do this, and thank you. It was my last plea before I went to sleep. A few hours later , I had a dream that I saw a hungry red fox. Then I saw a silhouette of a baby black bear that morphed and began to grow antlers until it turned into a large full-grown moose. I awoke immediately, and MKE was on my mind. A thought entered that seemed to say, “this is the answer” Even though I was awake now, not in a hypnagogic state, I began to think about the images I saw. Later I fell asleep and again saw the same images again right before awakening, only this time after the moose appeared, I saw a golden apple presented before me. I couldn’t help but wondering what this dream meant. I couldn’t get clarification just by thinking, so I decided to google what the meanings were about dreaming of these animals, the metamorphosis, and then an apple. Not that I’m any sort of dream analysis specialist , but something seemed to nudge me to. The meaning behind the fox said it could be either a warning that a sly fox was going to either bring deception, or that a fox was symbolic of being cunning in approaching challenges in one’s life. I decided to stick with cunning and go from there, because I connected with that thought. I often let challenges overtake me and sabotage my outcomes, and haven’t been shrewd enough to face them victoriously. The baby bear was symbolic of a parent guarding and being nearby, but allowing the yearling cub the opportunity to explore on its own, and the moose totem said my strength is in knowing exactly who I am, and also could mean quote: ” pay close attention to the elders around you for they hold the wisdom of days gone by”. I really see the connection between this and MKE . In order to pay it forward, I am going to have to be cunning and use my ingenuity. But, as a young cub in the program, there are those looking over me. The elders before me…the guides…know exactly what I’m walking through, and when I begin to gain strength by finding exactly who I am, I too shall become able to guide others at some point. The apple? …I believe it is the golden apple of the Garden of Hesperides. In folklore there is a single tree on which golden apples grow, and it is guarded by Ladon, a hundred-headed dragon. The only way I will get my golden apple is to slay or trick that dragon. I have been signing my name after ‘I always keep my promises” with the signature: Bobbi Kuhn, DS. It does not stand for Doctor of Science, and obviously not “Dear son”. D S after my name is Dragon Slayer. I added it after Marks analogy of slaying the dragon within. So now I continue my story: my journey of working with cunning ingenuity as a cub under my guides, my elders, to become a self -assured strong and victorious forward thinking individual, alongside all of my fellow Hafids. Thanks to my fellow tribe members. Thanks to Mark, Davene, Dayna, my guiding light: Nancy O, and all who went before me to keep me strong on this journey to claim my golden apple from the Garden of Hesperides.
Bobbi Kuhn, DS