I am enjoying my second session with like`minded people who are growing as self`directed thinkers.
I'm a single empty nester of 6 of 7 born children, and on a journey of rediscovery along with a family of fellow participants in the MasterKey Experience. Please share my journey with me as I master living my lifes purpose.
“…TODAY’S DEAD FLOWER CARRIES THE SEE OF TOMORROW’S BLOOM SO, TOO, DOES TODAY’S SADNESS CARRY THE SEED OF TOMORROW’S JOY.” Og Mandino
What a perfect scroll to be in for today. Celebrating our uniqueness in this time, right now, as nature’s greatest miracle.
We , indeed, are not on this earth by chance during this time. What does that mean for us who have developed our character through the MKMMA habits?
What a perfect time to increase our knowledge of mankind. As the observer, there is certainly a lot to observe in the behaviours of men during this time.
Two political sides fighting like children when they should be uniting in the face of this most historical moment.
Some people going out of their way for others, while others take more than their share.
WHAT ABOUT US?
“I HAVE BEEN GIVEN EYES TO SEE AND A MIND TO THINK AND NOW I KNOW A GREAT SECRET OF LIFE FOR I PERCEIVE, AT LAST, THAT ALL MY PROBLEMS, DISCOURAGEMENTS, AND HEARTACHES ARE, IN TRUTH, GREAT OPPORTUNITIES IN DISGUISE.”
In the MASTER KEY SYSTEM, Haanel writes :
“THE FORCES OF LIFE ARE VOLATILE; THEY ARE COMPOSED OF OUR THOUGHTS AND IDEALS AND THESE IN TURN ARE MOLDED INTO FORM; OUR PROBLEM IS TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND, TO CONSTANTLY REACH OUR FOR THE NEW, TO RECOGNIZE OPPORTUNITY, TO BE INTERESTED IN THE RACE RATHER THAN THE GOAL, FOR PLEASURE IS IN THE PURSUIT RATHER THAN THE POSSESSION.”
If we are the observers whom we’ve practiced to be , we can see that both authors we study this week speak about looking for opportunities in a volatile problematic time such as this.
If we keep the mindset of service to others, and not give in to fear, what could we achieve now that would help the world get through this time?
I keep thinking about the Italian volunteers who distributed 3D printed versions of a medical device that originally cost $10,000 (and their cost is $1) to hospitals treating patients for COVID19. They saw a need, and despite the fact that they could have faces infringement charges, they went forward to supply the hospitals in desperate need, in order to save lives. They looked for an opportunity to use their skills in the face of adversity.
What is it that we could do if we look for an opportunity to bring good into this situation that the entire world is a part of?
Will we create new things? Sew needed masks for hospitals? Start a You-tube channel of daily affirmations for those suffering with panic? Invent something?
Will we continue to prepare ourselves with what was in our DMP’s, so that we are ready to help the world rebuild when this passes?
I am not trying to tune this pandemic out of my mind. Instead, I’ve learned to go deep within, use my mind to enter into a place with the Divine and look to see if I have something that I can offer during this time, because I am here at an opportune time for a purpose.
For many of us, this strange experience will hit close to home. One person in our tribe said it feels like we’re in the Twilight Zone. It doesn’t seem real.
I think that along with everything else, as I said in last weeks blog, this , I’ve learned, is not as it appears. Along with myself, the things around me and the events, are an illusion, kind of like that Twilight Zone she mentioned. But again, I’ll recall, Creation is perfect. Therefore, in the perfectness of Divine space and Divine enlightenment, is a perfect plan for us who were created to be in this time….right now.
It’s not the end of MKMMA….It’s only the beginning, each and every day!
This week I wanted to shut out the chaos, the noise, the suffering of the world, but I couldn’t. When I say I couldn’t, I don’t mean that I gave in to it in a way that brought me down. Instead, I found myself trying very hard to look at it as the observer. Sure, I had my moments that weren’t perfect, I’ll admit…but what happened next when I got out my magnifying glass brought me to my knees, so to speak.
Instead of tuning out, I entered in…as much as possible and just opened myself to the questions and thoughts that swirled in my gut, my heart, my head……
Things have quieted down in some ways. Not so many cars, buses not running so much, airlines coming to a halt. “Stay home!” the world says and I think how ironic that the very things that pollute the trees, the earth, the wildlife have come to a near screeching halt and although human lungs are suffering, the lungs of the earth, the plant life, have a chance to breathe and heal. I question, “is this natures way of finding balance?”
I question a lot of things. “Will this bring the people of the world to unite more?”
Our character comes under scrutiny. “Which will win? The hoarding or the giving?”
But I know that Creation is perfect! Things are not as they appear. Everything is happening just as it’s supposed to in this historical moment in time.
Our tribe decides to look for kindnesses again this week alongside our other virtues of the Franklin Makeover. I question, “how will I see kindnesses when I’m here alone and, at 67 and vulnerable, I’m told , “stay home.?”
No sooner than I ask that, flowers show up at my door. Later that evening, a meal shows up unexpectedly from a friend of my daughters that I’ve known since they were young. She’s married now, and lives three hours away and yet, she thinks of me. Two kindnesses already!
The next day, I am forced to go out and mail some payments as there’s no one here to help because my daughter has been exposed to COVID19 by a patient, and is in quarantine.
While at the store post office, I notice people with small packs of toilet paper. It’s the first toilet paper I’ve seen at the market in weeks! Someone was kind enough to have shipped me some in my time of need so I’ve been fortunate. I scramble around to see if I have enough to buy a pack in order to pay it forward for a friend whom I know is without and I make the purchase when I pay for my postage and money orders and then I drive straight to her house. It’s getting close to sunset and I want to get home before Friday night pulls the veil of darkness for my sabbath. I honk, and my friend, who is also preparing for her sabbath, runs out of the house. I stick the toilet paper out of the window to her and I have never seen such a huge smile for something so simple as paper! It’s like gold to her!
I feel good for paying it forward, and as I start to drive away, my phone rings. It’s another friend from my community asking if I would like to come by so that she could run some dinner out to my car for tonight. “How did she know I am late preparing?” I wonder. I gladly accept, and meet in front of her house to smiles and greetings of “Shabbat Shalom.” “So many kindnesses in just a short 24 hours”, I think to myself.
I get home, light my candles, recite prayers, read a poem, and sit and unwind and consume my gifted dinner. I’m so sleepy I go right to bed shortly afterward.
During my next day of rest, I looked back over the week. I wonder about my place in all of this and in the world in general. I wonder how Mark and Davene could practically read my thoughts and talk about the things in the last webbie that I had, just previous to it, questioned,…”am I living as my True Self?”
I pick up my phone and listen to the Marco Polos from my tribe that have been recorded while I was unplugged over the past 24 hours. I listen in particular to Jason Houser describe his sit and the outcome of it and I decide to send him a private Marco Polo. My chat was scattered on my end and much more orderly and concise on his end. I ask some questions. He answers them and gives me some coaching. I receive the advice and decide to use it and go into a sit.
I sit, relax, get as still as possible, ask two questions and wait.
I continue to sit, and enter into the stillness.
During the sit, after a matter of minutes, I no longer think of the questions I have. I just want to continue quietly with no agenda, no history, no thoughts, no new questions.
I fall deeper into the quiet stillness.
Suddenly, I want to strip away every thing I have ever learned that has influenced me by any doctrine, history book, negative experience, good experience, any influence at all… human or worldly. I just want to enter into the sacred space between myself and the Universal Mind of God with no agenda! I want to strip down to nothing and bare my naked soul! I come knocking with a totally empty cup.
Suddenly in this thought space, I feel a serenity that I have never experienced before during a meditation. I sit for a long time, peeling away layers of myself, thinking only one last thought of how there is more foreign DNA in my apparent physical being of microbial life than there is of me myself, and I let go to the thought that I , along with everything else, am an illusion. I am more empty space than not and made up of energy. I dissipate in thought to nothingness. I’m there in this state for so long that when I come back to the thinking world, it’s nightfall. It’s late, in fact, it’s so late that it’s technically the next morning, although still dark.
Opening my eyes is almost a shock! There’s “stuff” around me that suddenly means nothing to me. I feel no attachment to any of it. The physical things hold little meaning except that I’m thankful for shelter and food. (and toilet tissue!)
I feel new. It feels good but strange. I feel lighter, like a burden has just fallen off of me. A relaxed smile comes across my face.
What just happened?
An hour later, I’m still feeling disconnected to my surroundings and more connected to the Universe. I just want to stay like this and have this feeling never end!
All I can say is “thank you”….to the Omnipresence, to my tribe members like Bonnie and Pamela and the others, to Nancy O, to the MKE experience, Mark, Davene and the crew, and to Jason Houser, who took the time to listen with kindness and gave me some direction.
What a wonderful last two days of kindness it has been!
I can go out now with an open heart to serve during this time of need. Even though I’m at home I can reach out through the wonderful world of technology and find a way to connect others to a resource, offer a kind word. Cheer someone up via a post or phone call or text! I can sew protective masks as was requested by our local hospital. There’s lots to be done. I’m ready to serve!
I just want to shout, “I did it! I did it! I finally, in week 23 connected so deeply with my true inner being that now I know, without a doubt, that I am unique and that I am natures greatest miracle!”
I have experienced the Law of Growth through the Law of Practice and I can come to graduation in two weeks awakened and with excitement toward the next session of the Masterkey Experience knowing that I learned just what I was supposed to in just my time and everything is perfect!
I am grateful to every tribe member and everyone who has been a part of my journey!
The pandemic! The pandemonium! The whole world is focused on the Corona Virus. I’ll admit. I’t hard not to think about it. But I have the Seven Laws of the Mind.
Law of Substitution
“We cannot think about 2 things at the same time. If a negative thought enters your mind…try to think about God instead”……
I will not think about why there is not toilet paper because of the panic and the hoarding and how I’m going to have enough staples if the shelves are wiped clean. Instead, I will focus on the Omnipotent and know that God knows all of my needs and there is plenty of provision in the Universe for my family and myself. I will rest and know that provision will be granted in one form or another.
The law of Relaxation
“Mental effort defeats itself-exactly the opposite of physical effort. A relaxed, calm state of mind, is the only doorway to progress mentally. Relaxation of thought is the only access to Infinite Intelligence. “
I will not panic about being out of work due to the pandemic. I will not be frustrated that I cannot go to the places that are closed due to the pandemic. I will not be fearful of others or upset about having to practice social distancing and that I have to stay home more during this time. I will take a deep breath and relax. I’ll take as many deep breaths and sit in stillness as it takes until I’ve found the Quiet and the door will open to the Infinite Intelligence and I will find peace and know that I Am will find the perfect way through the storm. I will relax.
Law of Practice
“Practice makes perfect. The 5Ps-Perfect Practice prevents Poor Performance”….
I will not freak out about the state of affairs brought on by the Corona Virus and become unproductive due to fear or anxiety. I will continue to make corrections with the practice of correct things along with work. I will improve.
Law of Forgiveness
“To access the Divine and connect the subconscious to the Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent Creator we must forgive everyone and anyone to clear the channel”….
I will not blame China or the President, or my neighbor or the Divine or any man for the spread of the Corona Virus. I will not break my connection to the Divine by anger or resentment toward another for the disease, for the lack of goods in the store, or for the mishandling of a crisis or for misinformation due to ignorance and inexperience. I will forgive myself for any thoughts I may have had or expressed about this situation.
Law of Dual Thought
“Thought is a combination of ideation and feeling. We can attach any feeling to a thought we want.”
I will not feel afraid of what’s to come through the time of this pandemic. If I do feel afraid I will think of Love. I will think of God. I will think of God and Love until I feel this love rise in me. I will stand in a way as to feel powerful. I will feel my heart beating. I will feel grateful that I can live and love and have my being. I can feel empathy toward the ill and feel love for them too. I can use my thoughts to imagine a world without sickness and I can feel the peace of healing energy flowing from my thoughts. I will feel what wholeness feels like. I will feel Peace. I will feel Love.
Law of Subconscious
“As soon as the subconscious accepts the idea it becomes a demand and it works constantly, 24-7, to manifest demand-accessing a reservoir of infinite resources. “
I am Whole , Perfect, Strong, Powerful, Loving , Harmonious and Happy!
I have everything I need!
Law of Growth
“Whatever we think about grows. What we forget atrophies. “
I think, therefore I become.
I have everything I need. I am grateful. I am well. I am here with purpose. I Am is within me.
I see the world through eyes of kindness. I see the good in others.
All I need is within me. I am kind. I am courageous. I am disciplined. I am persistent. I have a pleasing personality. I am well organized. I am decisive. I take initiative. I am enthusiastic. I am in control of my emotions. I am Unique. I am Natures Greatest Miracle. I am Aware. I am Whole. I am Perfect. I am Strong. I am Powerful. I am Loving. I am Harmonious. I am Happy.
Reading part 22 of the Master Key System, I ran across the words, “the law of vibration.” Haanel speaks of the “rate of vibration”, and how those given vibrations immediately modify every atom in the body.
I thought about the times when things around me can affect the way I feel physically . I thought about the times people get sad and depressed when their thoughts of misfortune bring them down into a physical state of despair. I thought about the times when I didn’t feel like going to my singing gig and was physically and emotionally drained but then immediately after I sang a set how energetic and uplifted I felt. This must be why I love music. It changes that rate of vibration and I feel it physically.
I thought of a song from the sixties….”Good Vibrations” by the Beach Boys. I sang the chorus…”Good, Good, Good, Good Vibrations!”
Of course, the beach boys were on to something. Those good vibrations felt from thinking about a beach girl with sunlight playing upon her hair who takes them to a place of “I don’t know where” transporting this love-stricken boy to an excited place of bliss. “Gotta keep those love good vibrations happening with her.” It’s a song about the rate of vibration and thought. Cool!
The chapter goes on to express how we use this power of the thought, which is itself a vibration, unconsciously , producing undesired results. This affects our every cell in our body, thus it affects our health. Toward the chapter conclusion Haanel speaks about how realization and recognition of the Omnipresent Power will substitute harmony and perfection for sickness and suffering.
I’ve read about experiments where a person who is in a negative state is placed in a room of strangers who know nothing about this person’s negative thoughts or mood, and after being near this person their thoughts and perceptions will actually change toward negativity, as seen by before and after questionnaires. The experiment is repeated with a very positive subject and the thoughts and perceptions go up on the positive scale, just from the person’s presence. Their is some sort of vibration of energy being emitted from this person that affects the rest of the subjects physically and emotionally.
Currently , I have some physical challenges, and I know from experience that focusing on the issues does nothing toward bettering my health. I know from experience that focusing on the state of health that I want will bring it about much more rapidly than focusing on how to “get well.” Focusing on getting well is still focusing on sickness, not wellness.
My most important PPN is True Health. This lesson comes to me in a very timely fashion and has reminded me to take my thoughts off of sickness and on to focusing on the perfectness of the Omnipotent and visualizing the nature of the being I truly am. A being who is healthy and vibrant and productive, thus bringing my future self into the now.
I’m so grateful for this chapter. I’m going to keep singing…”Good, Good, Good, Good Vibrations.”
This week I felt a sense of awe in how the scrolls from Og, the Master Key System and parts of the Franklin Makeover seem to coordinate with the chapters of my life so perfectly. It’s eerie and magical.
As we near the end of scroll V of Og, I read,
“So too, I beat upon my heart with gratitude as I consider all who greeted yesterday’s sunrise who are no longer with the livings today. I am indeed a fortunate person and today’s hours are but a bonus, undeserved. Why have I been allowed to live this extra day when others, far better than I, have departed? Is it that they have accomplished their purpose while mine is yet to be achieved?…..”
It seems weird that while in this month of scroll V, several people I’ve known, and 3 in our family, have departed, driving my focus to this thought. I think about the many times my life was spared in miraculous ways, just a fraction of a second from death in more than one freak accident, illness, or danger. A sense of awe and gratitude wells up in me and I have to ask the question above, ” do I have a purpose yet to be achieved?”
This whole journey of practicing and fulfilling our Dharma , while progressing, is actually,at the same time, unraveling parts of my life. Am I living each day as if it is my last? I’ve been busy, trying to fit many things into my life in the progression toward living out my DMP, and now I’m wondering as I move along if some of it is really unnecessary desire and I find myself again re-questioning motives. So I move to the sit, and the Master Key System and I wonder if the reason I have a difficult time envisioning some of my dreams and how I want to live my purpose is because my ideals are changing with the growth I’m experiencing and maybe I’m not living as my real TRUE self. Am I realizing my real “inherent soul potencies” as Haanel writes about?
On to the Franklin Makeover…..
During the Franklin Makeover I could clearly observe the virtues in others, but sometimes I could not see many strengths in some of them in my own life, and focusing for just a week did not always give time to really put things into practice to correct error. So the Makeover will be a constant progression in my life. I’m grateful that I had time to experience the awareness that initiates change.
When I began this Master Key journey, I was in a transition of becoming an empty-nester (at a very late age, I may add). I had been a mom since age 18, and my last of 7 born, the second youngest at age 22, left home when I was already into my sixties. I also had a large home day care with a certified pre-school for special needs kids with an enrollment of over 40 children during part of my years of motherhood, and an after school program. I spent many years mothering and caring for and teaching children through music and movement, art, science and mainstreaming the community of children to really connect with one another.
Later,as my own kids grew, my home was busy with lots of kids and teen-aged friends of my own family who seemed to love frequenting our home. There are still those who call me their “other mother”. Putting so much love, time and effort into young lives was rewarding but when those years came to a close I felt like a blank slate with no thought of what I would do with my “golden” years. Why hadn’t I planned for this? I guess I always assumed that I would be spending those years with my spouse living new adventures , yet never knew I would end up alone. I threw myself into an old avenue of work as I moved to Buffalo NY at the request of a friend who needed my help with her medical office and laboratory for the next few years. I also worked in the Orthodox Jewish community there wholeheartedly honoring that way of life even though much of it didn’t line up with my core beliefs having been in a more conservative community for so many years.
When returning home to the Northwest, I flailed around not knowing where I belonged, wondering why it felt like I had misplaced my identity, then stumbled upon the MasterKey Experience. That was in a previous session 2 years ago.
During that session , I manifested an important portion of my DMP and nearly another portion. My soul began to come back alive!
So, this time around, I tweaked some things and one of my PPN’s changed since a couple of years ago, even though I wanted to fight it at first. And now I’m finding that this far in, I really don’t feel the need to do so much toward one of them. I feel a sense of satisfaction that I have already done a lot in this area and that the rest of it will evolve on it’s own without me forcing it. I’m learning how to let go a little more and finding my way to my more true nature, and it doesn’t all fit with some of the earlier choices that I may have considered. I’m discovering that this process isn’t at all about success and failure but about discovery and purpose through stillness and observation, and servitude. Success and failure are but the results of the practice and process. But it’s taken me until this week to get this far where it is real and raw and truth. And that’s okay. I’m okay that the dates on my PPN’s will move, or maybe they will change all together. I’m okay with this time for experimentation even though before I freaked out as I’m now 67 and was feeling that I don’t have a lot of time to get on with it. Life is still unfolding for me day by day, even though I’m in that “more mature “time of life.
I’ll take each day at a time and do my best with that day, draw closer in the quiet toward the Omnipotent, and cheer my tribe on. With more MKE experience and the tools I’ll become more aware as I progress. I won’t have to guess at what I think I want and who I am. I will know. I don’t have to apologize that I took so long to get to this point or that I was in a whirlwind of life and now I’ve learned (and have been forced) to slow down enough stop and really think and quiet my being and open up my heart to God as if it were for the first time. I’m just fine and right where I need to be.
So as this session is a few weeks from the end, once again, it is bittersweet. I am truly grateful that, even if I feel like I’m just beginning again, I have that chance of beginning, and nothing has been wasted.
Eventually, I will manifest the things that are important as my True Nature unfolds.
I remember when I was in 11 years old and I really liked graphs and charts. I got a peachy notebook that had a graph to fill in for the electoral votes for the upcoming presidential election and I followed the elections and filled in the electoral votes as they came in and were tallied. I must have had much more of a mathematical mind at the time, as now I’m not such a graph and chart person. In fact, although I really can make sense of the Franklin makeover, It’s filling in the graph that tends to elude me. I like the awareness exercises though. So when Mark J does that “chart and graph thingy “that he so often uses, I have a difficult time tuning in. But this week, the chart made sense but the visual! Now that was a great tool! I loved the way everything fit into that beaker when put in the right order! So my aversion was totally turned around on this one because it really hit home with me. As he put different things into the beaker representative of the priorities in our daily business habits, I could relate and know that it is the truth! It all works and everything fits and gets done if the priorities are in the correct order. If we pay attention to the daily habits that matter, without neglecting family and self-time and schedule it in, we get more hours out of the day. Sometimes I’m guilty of getting derailed. Knocking myself off track is easy for me. Saying no to others is difficult. But if it’s not on the schedule and there’s not room… well things should go well. It’s much easier working a 9-5 to keep a work schedule, but being my own boss and having more free time can get messy if I’m not careful to prioritize, schedule and keep it that way. I like being sporadic at times and flexible, but it has to fit into the leisure hours from now on. So this week the graph and charts and visuals makes sense and gets kudos from me.
A pleasing personality is my virtue for the week. After watching the week 19 video about posturing oneself, I finally understood what it was that I have been doing when I have to go on stage and really don’t feel like showing up sometimes. Maybe I stayed up too late or had to decline an invitation for a Sunday Funday.
I arrive to the building and if I don’t feel like I’m showing up with a pleasing personality or a smile on my face, I ditch into the ladies room, sing a mantra of gratitude that I’ve memorized from my Hebrew prayer book, and put on lip gloss and a smile before I exit to rehearsal. Rehearsal begins to lift me up just due to singing. But before the service begins, where I will be before the audience, I remind myself that I’ve been chosen to be there and I offer myself in silent prayer to the people for whom I’m about to sing for. I ask silently , in behalf of the entire band, to connect with their hearts and then I turn around before the piano starts to play, and quickly do two energy-strike poses, take in a long cleansing breath and turn around and allow myself to engage with a glowing smile which soon ,during the uplifting songs, becomes real. How strange that I often felt like I was some silent complainer, kvetching to myself with my Eeyore moodiness, yet when I arrive, I know it’s not acceptable behaviour. So why don’t I think I’m worth smiling for and making happy and why do I not connect with my inner self with a smile and a “you are worth the sunshine” mood every day?
Others seem to think I have a pleasing personality. I not only get comments on my musical performance, but am also told that I have a great presence when singing. I know it’s because I have given myself over in that offering to my higher inner self. I give my inner self permission to come out and be there for others in service to them.
My challenge now is to give honor to myself to allow that pleasing personality to show up for me also, even if I’m alone and am tired or not at my best. I bet it will change my whole day. No more inner kvetching! I can do this! I can strike that energy pose, face toward the eastern morning sun and let my light shine, even if it’s just me that I’m with. I will fake it until I become it!
This week my son and his new wife were coming to town for a visit for my son’s “birthday week.” Normally I would be excited, but instead I was a bit out of sorts until I figured out why.
He wasn’t going to be staying with me. He and his wife would spend the first night at my daughter’s and the next two nights and his dad’s . If I were to dwell on it I would have hit that place of sadness about the fact that I don’t have room for guests to comfortably stay with me. Not only was he not going to stay with me, but the first day they were all going hiking along with some friends, followed with a birthday party at his dads.
Although I was invited for the easy hike, I had only had an angiogram a few days prior and was not up to the hike. I did , however, make vegetarian food to bring to the party for his wife , my daughter and myself. I couldn’t stay long. I wasn’t feeling well enough, so not long after supper I departed before some of the guests arrived. I could see that he was slightly disappointed, but instead of feeling sad or disappointed myself, I felt a sense of relief that he had a place to have his guests, his party, and I could bow out graciously and go home to sleep.
I was also glad that he has formed a relationship with his dad as an adult, as his dad had been quite the absent parent during marriage and after. Not once since my son turned 10, did he ever come for a visit. He didn’t come to his Bar Mitzvah, nor graduation from college, but he was at his recent wedding after 21 years of absenteeism.
I felt happy that instead of being jealous or disappointed that I could be glad for all of them and their time together. I truly have developed a greater sense of gratitude for things and for other’s happiness and well being.
The next evening we were supposed to go out together with his friends and my daughter to shoot pool and sing karaoke. My energy faded dismally before it was time to go. I actually felt grateful that there was enough going on for his weekend that I wasn’t needed to fill any of the voids.I was happy that I could get rest without feeling guilty.
The next morning, before they caught their flight, they called early and asked if we could do brunch at my house. I was delighted. Feeling rested up, I ran to the market for a few items, some flowers for the table and came home in time to set up a very nice table with a healthy and simple meal of polenta bowls and home made vegetable juice. I created a center piece of live blooming plants in a heart shaped basket and tiny individual bud vases at each table setting. The heart shaped “special plate” from when the kids were young was set out at my son’s spot with a small candle on a plate clip and I had everything ready except for the fresh brewed coffee,that he brought along from his honeymoon in Columbia,before they arrived.
When they walked in, I could see the joy on their faces as they saw the welcoming table.
We had just a short time to spend together at the table during the meal before my daughter whisked them off to the airport, and I kept the focus and conversation on him and his special week , his wife and my daughter. I could tell that he was grateful for the few minutes we had to spend together during the meal. It wasn’t long, but it was perfect and filled with gratitude for each other. Everyone enjoyed the meal, each other’s company, the conversation, and even though it went by just as fast as I had prepared it, when they left, I happily washed each plate with a sense of love for each person that each dirty dish represented. I was mindful of each person as I scrubbed the bowls, plates, coffee cups, and it never felt like a chore at all. It was truly a service and I did the happy dance in my head and heart. How much it means to be able to continue gratitude from the makeover as it spills into the rest of my life making imperfect things turn out perfectly!
This week we were to read obituaries. Sadly, one of the obituaries I read was that of my sons best colleague, advocate and dear friend. He died in a ski accident and left behind a wife and 3 children, ages 4,2 and a 4 month old infant. My heart ached for his family and friends.
But as I read, the sadness was mixed with other emotions. I felt a tear slip into my mouth, and realized that I had a slight smile even through tears as I read the wonderful tribute to a young man that I had the privilege to meet just a few months ago at my sons wedding. He had spoken with me to tell me how much he honored my son and what a gifted scientist he is. They were good friends.
I looked through wet blurry eyes at the photograph of my son, Davey, Sean, and another friend and colleague in a helicopter together taken as they headed out for flight above the Alaskan Wilderness where they would be dropped off into a lake due to the denseness of the trees, then make their way to camp. This trio of scientists worked and lived together for three months each year in Alaska , living in a small cabin in the wild, exploring and gathering data, and sharing the adventures of their lives away from other humankind. They spent the rest of the year together working on their findings on campus. They got to know each other pretty well.
When I read the obituary, I could see why my son admired Sean. It spoke about him being pure of heart, bold, having a wild spirit, meek, kind, loyal and loving to family and friends.
He was in Post Doctorate studies at the University of Washington. His professor said he was a
“bold and creative scientist, driven to make a difference for all the best reasons…as humble a person as there ever was.”
Of his marriage it was said that it was the ” most beautiful, rarified love of loves. The kind of love that people dream about. The kind that poets, artists, and musicians have written about.”
And another quality was written as :
“When you were in Sean’s presence, and looked into his eyes, you felt fully seen. He held calm and curious space for everyone.”
The more I read, I realized with the next tear that slipped down my cheek, that the slight smile was because I could feel the love and energy with which Sean carried out his life. He did everything with the intensity as if that day were the only day he had to do it in. He was a Hero on his Heroes Journey, and while his life was cut short it was lived to the fullest.
I will never forget meeting Sean, nor what his life meant to my son. He leaves me contemplating what being “all in” is about. He may have tread lightly on the earth, being careful to leave the least of a carbon footprint as possible, but he left a huge impression on the hearts of those that met him or heard or read the story of his life.
Rest in Peace Sean! May your Hero’s Journey continue on through the love of those who hold your memory.
During week 17, I spent a lot of time examining my DMP, my thoughts, motives, the degree of my successes, and observing the world around me.
My observations on the Franklin makeover this week were on being “Well Organized”, and that was easy to spot. Being a person who greets the natural world around me daily, how can one not see the perfect organization Creation has put in place? All of the visible organisms and invisible micro-organisms moving energy and matter from one part of the community of beings to another in this massive amazing ecosystem which I’m apart of. I’ve always been in awe of it.
In my internal environment though, I don’t find the same perfect order. There’s a bit of chaos that I can’t put my finger on it. I know if there’s something out of order, not properly organized, whether it be my thoughts, or my material or physical world, I need to bring it into sync.
I found myself searching, and wondering what I was searching for , not really knowing, but something I read in the lessons was stirring me to examine my purpose. I had that magnifying glass out , trying to make sure that it is really service and not position that I seek (as stated in this chapter of the Master Key System), wealth and not riches, honor and not fame, and that I’m observing the law of compensation with integrity.
I feel a bit suspended in a time warp ….and cannot stop the wondering. I haven’t got much to report this week, but I’m finding the lessons fascinating , my eyes and heart open to observe as I continue to see what falls into place.
Stargazer to Dragon Slayer 